Common Questions asked by Parents

For Parents / Common Questions asked by Parents

 

It's natural for a parent to want the best for a child – a good education, a strong faith, friends and realistic goals for the future

When your child was very young, he or she saw the future through the eyes of a child. "When I grow up, I’m going to be a doctor/lawyer/nurse/fireman..:' is the typical response from a young child when asked about the future. But as children get older, they start to seriously look at their future. They begin to recognize their own talents, their likes and dislikes. They begin to think about what they really want to be when they grow up.  As a parent, you are concerned, wondering if they are choosing the right path.

 

How should I react if my son/daughter talks about becoming a priest, nun, or brother?

If this has happened yet, maybe you ought to ask yourself the question of “How would you react?” or “How would your spouse react?” Would it be shock? Concern? Skepticism? Would this be a dream come true for you or your worst nightmare?  Knowing and understanding your own feelings and why you feel that way is an important step in knowing how to respond to your son or daughter.  The vast majority of teens today feel that if they told their parents they were even “just thinking” about priesthood or religious life, their parents would be completely opposed to the idea, laugh at them or think they were on drugs or something!  This could not be further from the truth as local studies here in the Diocese of St. Petersburg consistently show that approximately 30% of Catholic teenagers have considered the possibility of priesthood or religious life!

 

A vocation is quite simply a call from God.  God gives each one of us a vocation and has blessed us with certain abilities and talents. Some of us are called to be married. Others are called to be single. Still others are called to the priesthood or to religious life. One vocation is not better than another. We hope that if your child shows an interest in religious life or the priesthood you will be supportive and encouraging.

 

What is a priest?

A priest serves God and the Church as an ordained minister. He celebrates Mass and the sacraments, preaches, leads the community in prayer and helps people in a variety of other ways. A priest often works full time in a parish, although some priests have been trained in more specialized ministries.

 

Some priests are also members of a religious community (like the  Franciscans, Salesians, or Jesuits). They make vows of poverty, chastity and obedience and live, pray, and work with other members of their community. Religious priests can work in parishes or in other ministries. Many priests are diocesan priests who devote their lives to serving the needs of a particular diocese. They work in parishes and in the other ministries of the diocese. They promise to remain celibate and to obey the bishop of the diocese.  Prayer and service are important parts of their lives.

 

What is religious life?

Religious life is a term the Church uses to describe the lifestyle of women and men who join a religious community. There are religious communities of women and religious communities of men. Each religious community was founded for a particular purpose. Some religious communities are involved in only one or two specific works, such as teaching, health care, pastoral or missionary work. Other religious communities are involved in a variety of works but may choose their ministries based on the mission or spirit of the community.

 

Women who join religious communities are usually called sisters. Men who join religious communities are called brothers, unless they have been ordained to the priesthood. Some priests are members of religious communities, others are diocesan priests who live and work within their local diocese.

 

All religious (sisters, brothers and priests) dedicate their lives to serve God and the Church through the vows of poverty, chastity and obedience. Prayer, community and service are important aspects of their life.

 

What do the vows mean?

Through the vow of chastity, religious women and men choose to share their love and life with God and all people rather than with a single person in marriage. They choose not to marry and have children in order to devote themselves as fully as possible to their service of God and others.

 

Religious promise through the vow of poverty to live simply and to share their abilities, money and possessions. This vow helps to develop a way of life in which. a religious realizes that she/he and all of creation are connected and are dependent on God.

 

Like Mary, who lived her life faithful to God’s will, religious promise to be obedient to God's will for them in their work and in their lives.

 

What can my child do as a priest, brother, or sister?

Sisters, brothers and priests can have a variety of careers. Some work in churches and schools, others are lawyers, electricians, musicians, social workers, doctors, farmers and missionaries. They help the poor, the elderly, the sick and children. Sisters, brothers and priests can have almost any career that other adults have. But whatever work they do, they do, it to be of service to God and to others.

 

Prayer, community and service are important to brothers, priests and sisters. They usually live with other members of their-religious community. Time is set aside during the day to pray together, to share meals together and to talk about the events of the day.

 

How does a person become a priest, sister, or brother?

Individuals who want to become diocesan priests apply through their local diocese for seminary admission. If the candidate is accepted by the bishop, he is then sent to study a seminary for education and preparation. Some begin seminary immediately after completing high school, others come to seminary after a few years of college, and others wait until they have completed college or after working for several years. Men preparing for the priesthood study philosophy, theology, scripture, history and pastoral ministry during their time of seminary education. After the successful completion of the seminary program, the candidate is ordained to the priesthood for service to his home diocese.

 

Each religious community on the other hand has its own program to prepare women and men to become members. Some religious communities have programs for college-age women and men. Others will accept individuals only after they have completed college. The preparation program includes a period of time living within the community, learning about its history, traditions and rule of life. Time is spent learning about prayer, community life and the vows.

 

Most religious also attend classes at a college or university to receive professional training for the work they will do. The type and length of training will depend on the ministry to be done.

 

Who pays for everything?

Each religious community and diocese establishes its own financial policies concerning its candidates. Typically, candidates for a religious community are expected to cover the cost of their tuition, room and board and, other related expenses until they profess vows. Dioceses often help their seminarians cover part of their expenses. For both, candidates for religious communities and dioceses, scholarships, loans and grants are available. A lack of finances should never prevent someone from responding to God's call to religious life or the priesthood.

 

Will my son or daughter have to live far from our family?

The most honest answer to this question is "it depends!" Diocesan priests almost always remain within their own diocese, serving the needs of the local parishes.

 

Some religious communities live and work within a specific location. Other religious communities live and work in a variety of locations, often working in areas where the talents of the sisters, brothers and priests are most needed. As a member of a religious community, your child might have the opportunity to live and work in several parts of the country.

 

Brothers, sisters and priests can also become foreign missionaries and travel to other parts of the world to preach the Gospel of Jesus and to help others.

 

Are there still contemplative orders?

There are both men’s and women's contemplative communities in the United States. The daily life of most contemplatives includes prayer (both private and communal), spiritual reading and study, and some form of work by which the community provides for its needs. Those living totally contemplative lives do not engage in the active apostolate, except for brief contact with visitors. Each order, as well as individual communities within it, is unique.

 

Are there restrictions on family contact?

A person preparing for religious life or the priesthood is encouraged to maintain healthy relationships with family members and friends. Letters, telephone calls, emails and personal visits enable candidates for religious life and, the priesthood to keep in contact with family and friends.

 

What if my son/daughter changes his/her mind?

Discernment is an ongoing process. Becoming a candidate with a diocese or religious community does not mean that your child is obligated to become a priest, sister or brother. Formation directors will help your child discern whether this choice is a good one. Your child may decide that he/she is called to serve the church in some other way, while being married and raising children. Prayer and reflection will help your child develop a better sense of God's call.

 

What should I do now?

If your child expresses an interest in priesthood or religious life, encourage her/him. Let your child know that you want her/him to be happy in life, and that you will support his/her interest. Answer you child's questions as best you can. Priests and religious and priests will help you answer the more difficult questions. Pray for your children that God will give them the strength and patience to discover their abilities and talents and use them to help others.

 

I still have more questions, what should I do?

There are still more resources on this website for you, but you may still wish to discuss other questions or concerns with your pastor, or with a sister, brother or priest whom you may know. If you would like to contact us click here.