My Story
My faith had always been a big part of my life, yet the Seminary is the last place I wanted to end up. My journey through high school and college was paved with successes that fueled my selfish ambitions. I was living my own dream, chasing my own goals, and God was there to "help me", but only when and where it was convenient. Any thoughts or suggestions of the Seminary were quickly ignored as I chose to focus on what I thought I "really wanted". It was amazing when my dream bubble finally burst! I got to the point in my life when I realized I had everything I thought I wanted…yet was still unhappy. In fact, I was more anxious, stressed, unhappy, and depressed than I had ever been! This gift, wrapped in anxious suffering, was both the hardest and the best thing to ever happen to me.
This suffering caused me to search for relief from my pain. Upon exhausting many other hopeless routes, I found God. He graced me with the peace I so desperately sought. As it says in Psalm 63, "My soul does not rest until it rests in You." I realized that the last year of suffering was much needed in my life. It hollowed out my heart to create a place for God. Without the suffering and creation of space, there was not enough room for Him in my life. Like many others I had always felt a gapping void in my life, but had chosen to fill it with worldly things. However, these things of the world never satisfied my longing. By choosing God I have experienced joy and fulfillment beyond words. I agree with St. Augustine, "O Lord, in all my desiring, I was desiring You."
